My Secret Son

She worked near my apartment, across the passage, on Calle Jerusalen. She owned a bakery and I would go there often for coffee and bread. I was living in a small flat in San Lazaro and was teaching English to Peruvians. I barely made enough money and was surviving on the bread and coffee.

We spoke often, her name was Adrianna and I always sensed sadness in her eyes. One rainy afternoon, I walked into her shop to find her crying. She was sitting behind the counter on a pile of boxes and when I looked over, she wiped her eyes and smiled and apologized for crying. I asked her what was wrong and she refused to say. In that moment, I realized that I was looking at beauty.

“Please, have a drink with me,” I said and pulled out a small bottle of Pisco.

“No, please leave…” She said, and then she grabbed the bottle from my hand.

We smiled and both had a sip, and then another. The bottle was gone 10 minutes later, and we sat upon the boxes. In n the next moment we were kissing and had sex, right there behind the counter. I asked her again why she was crying.

“My boyfriend, he proposed to me. But I don’t love him.”

“Then say no.” I said.

“I cannot, because my father is in business with him.”

“Oh, sounds like a bad movie.”

“Don’t joke!” she laughed. “But, you’re right, it does.”

“So when do you marry?”

“Three days…very small wedding.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll find happiness.”

Time passed on and I remained friends with her. She was pregnant and I became friends with her husband eventually. We would have dinners together, and I would bring a different dinner date each time. The city of Arequipa was a puritan city in daylight and a city of vice at night. Her husband, Jomar and I became great friends. We partied every weekend, and he would sleep with other women. He was not a good husband.

In October, she gave birth to a beautiful boy, Joaquin. He was quiet and pale. He had large brown eyes and dark brown hair. By this time, I had a somewhat serious girlfriend, Rosa, and we continued to have dinner dates with Adrianna and Jomar. We were a family of sorts, and Rosa and I would babysit Joaquin.

A few more years had passed and I was no longer with Rosa.

I was writing in a cafe, now 28 years old and giving my dreams one last shot before settling down and getting a real job. Adrianna and Joaquin walked into the cafe. by, she was 26 and Joaquin was now 4 years old. We had drifted apart as all friends do, and I hadn’t seen them in quite a while.

When I saw them come in, my heart dropped. I was pale and dizzy. I saw something in Joaquin that was different now. He was more recognizable.

“Teddy, are you okay? How are you!”

“I- I’m good.” I said shaking.

“You look ill, let me get you some tea from the bar.”

She went to get my tea and Joaquin sat down in the seat across from me.

He smiled and said, “Hola Uncle Ted!”

Joaquin was my son. The last four years I had not noticed, but his face was mine, his dark wavy hair was mine, his cheeks and ears were mine.

Adrianna came back with the tea and looked at me. She knew that I had figured it out.

“Joaquin, dear, please go over and ask the bartender for a coca-cola. Here is money, grab some food too.”

He walked away in delight.

“Teddy, please…” she sobbed, “Do not say anything. Yes, he is yours, I knew the moment he was born, but this could ruin me!” She was crying now.

My eyes were watering, “Okay…but can I talk to him?”

“You can still watch him and be his friend. But, no you cannot tell him.”

“Okay…” I said.

It was now summer, and Jomar and I took Joaquin to a street festival.

“Dad! Look at the horses!”

Jomar and I both looked. I felt guilty.

“I’ll be right back, watch Wocky for me…” said Jomar.

Jomar had walked over to a street vendor for a Pisco and ginger ale. I watched as he spoke with a young, attractive girl who was no more than 17 years old. I watched and they were exchanging phone numbers.

He started walking back over to us and I looked away.

“Dad can I have more cotton candy?”

“No! Just like your mother, you’re staring to get fat!” He laughed and looked at me. I didn’t smile.

It was then that I felt like jumping in.

“Here is some money Joaquin. Go get some more cotton candy. And you’re not getting fat, neither is your mother.”

“What are you doing there Theo? Playing dad? Listen when you have your own son, you can let him be a fatty, but my son is not going to be one.”

I held my tongue. “Lo siento…I’m sorry.”

“Ahhh, no problems my friend. Go ahead Joaquin…let Uncle Theo buy you a cotton candy, little gordo!”

I gave Joaquin the money and he smiled at me with big brown eyes. “Thank you Uncle Teddy!”

“Uno momento.” Said Jomar.

He walked back over to the young girl and began talking with her, whispering in each other’s ears. I looked away, and began to watch Joaquin. I could’t hear him, but I saw his mouth say, “Gracias!” and watched him run back to me with a smile on his face. I felt proud. He was my son.

“Where is papa?” Said Joaquin, with cotton candy stuck to his mouth.

“Oh…he’s somewhere around here Joaquin.” I answered with tears in my eyes. “He’s somewhere.”